TEMPUS FUGIT

Was Trevor watching a chick flick?

Closing the front door and moving through the apartment quietly, Hal crept down the hall with a bemused chuckle threatening to escape his lips. In all the six years he’d been with Trevor the man had never watched a romantic movie or read a romance novel. He’d once said hell had a better chance of freezing over than him watching or reading that drivel.

But the sounds of smooching grew louder as he approached the living room.

Hal adored their apartment. Modern and minimalistic, the living room wasn’t clogged down by superfluous items or furniture. Apart from the huge widescreen TV, black leather couch and beech wood coffee table there were only a few personal items both Hal and Trevor treasured. The football trophy Trevor had won in high school, the sculpture Hal had bought from a gallery after his first case won, the creamy shell souvenir from their first trip together to a tropical island in the south seas, the art and DVDs they had gathered over the many years of their life as a dedicated couple. All of these memorabilia spoke to the strength of their relationship, and Hal smiled.

Rounding the corner, Hal stopped dead in his tracks as the sight so perplexing and unimaginable appeared before him that his mind simply blanked out.

The white blinds were barely ajar, letting the last remnants of the setting sun through in orange and red slivers, coloring the eggshell white room with a sensual hue.

Only…the view before Hal was anything but sensuous. It was, in fact, chilling him to the bone, pooling icy waters into his stomach and attaching the weight of the world on his heart.

Trevor. Oh, Trevor. Since the first time he’d been introduced to Trevor at a party Hal had fallen in lust with that man’s body. Only recently out of the closet, Trevor had been in his mid-thirties then but was in his early-forties now. Though his big build was as much muscles as padding Hal loved every inch of big Trevor, from his strawberry blonde head, now with a few silvery strands, to his big feet that were surprisingly nimble and light as they moved around.

But the part of Trevor Hal cherished the most were his lips. The full curve of his lower lip and the delectable dip of his Cupid’s bow, the cherry colored tone and soft kissable texture. Hal worshipped the man’s lips.

Only at the moment some other guy was doing that instead of him.

Stunned into silence and frozen in place, Hal watched as a man he did not recognize ate Trevor’s lips with fervor. He was younger, maybe late twenties, early thirties. Lean, lithe, sexy as sin and gorgeous as a god. Hal, with his slight paunch despite weekly gym workouts, nerdy look with glasses, brown mess of hair and lack of the sophistication a suit seemed to provide everyone else but him (in his opinion his formal work attire made him look fat), was no competition for this masculine work of art.

The guy’s hands were everywhere, all over Trevor, snaking around his neck, gliding down his back, grabbing those firm round buttocks, grinding himself against the man of Hal’s dreams. He wondered in passing if the man even realized or cared that his casual fuck was someone else’s dream come true. Probably not.

Trevor’s huge hands gripped the guy’s shoulders. Not pulling him closer, but definitely not pushing him away, either. And that tongue action was not the act of a reluctant man.

Hal sighed. It was a gesture of resignation—which baffled him since a part of him was more than willing to yank that guy away from Trevor and toss him out the window, even if they did live of the fifth floor and the drop would likely kill him.

Breaking the kiss, Trevor turned, as if awoken from a reverie—or revelry—by the sound Hal had made. His blue eyes widened and his fair skin grew paler in shock.

“H-Hal… Y-you’re back… You’re early.” Whoa. Did that sound like an accusation, or what? This was Hal’s home too.

He brought up his hand with a single red rose. “Nope. Right on time. Your watch must be slow again. I told you to take it to the clock repair shop down the street. But…I guess you had other things on your mind.” Hal was surprised at how level his tone was and how it had echoed in his own head. Is that how he’d sounded to Trevor too?

“Or maybe your watch is fast.” Trevor’s grunt was riddled with disapproval, as though Hal were the offender here. That was funny. Hal almost laughed but at the last minute he realized he probably shouldn’t.

Trevor stared at the flower in Hal’s extended hand, his brow furrowed as if trying to recall if this was a special day for them. That did make Hal chuckle. “I skipped the grocery store. Thought I’d come by and take you to dinner. But perhaps your hunger is already sated with a different course, hmm?”

Trevor gave an awkward glance at the young offender standing in their living room, bold as you please. “You should probably go, Neal. I’ll talk to you later.”

Neal? Now Hal had to fight off Doogie Howser, M.D.? How could one measly him win over that piece of scrumptious ass? The guy shifted his curious but unashamed gaze from Trevor to Hal and back before shrugging, picking up his coat from the couch and sauntering to the front door, seemingly without a care in the world, and promptly exited.

Now what? Hal looked at Trevor who stood in place, his arms crossed over his chest, his darkened eyes narrowed, his stance rigid and angry.

Wait. What? Angry? Shouldn’t Hal be the one to be angry? Hadn’t he earned that right after witnessing his boyfriend making out with another guy in their house? Wasn’t Hal the only one allowed to get pissed off here?

“Is that for me?” Sullen, Trevor pointed at the rose.

Hal looked down at the rose, mystified as to why he was still holding it. What had he been thinking when he’d gotten it? He knew what. Hal had bought it because he loved Trevor with all his heart, soul and being. He couldn’t even imagine a life without him anymore.

Until now, when the possibility of having to do exactly that tore his heart to shreds and weighed him down like a ton of bricks. The prospect of living alone and not having Trevor to talk to, to laugh with, to go dancing with, to sleep next to, all those dire predictions blurred his vision with a veil of tears that burned like acid.

“Yes. It’s for you.” Without conscious thought Hal presented his flowery gift to his boyfriend who had just kissed another man with serious intent.

Trevor frowned and blinked hard several times. But he took the offered rose – and Hal saw his hand shake. “Thanks.”

“Just in case you’re wondering today is no special day. You haven’t forgotten anything. I just…wanted to make you happy.”

Trevor shifted weight from one foot to another, staring down at the rose—or the floor, Hal wasn’t sure. “You make me happy, Hal.”

“So, your mouth fell on that guy by accident? Or was he choking and needed a tongue stuck in there to unclog his pharynx? Or was he having a stroke and needed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?”

Trevor had the good grace to blush before he grimaced. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“What’s that suppose to mean? How’s this my fault? I wasn’t the one who–”

“Well, maybe you should’ve been!”

It was Hal’s turn to blink hard in confusion. Opening and closing his mouth like a fish on dry land, Hal was sure he’d slipped through a rift in space-time into the Twilight Zone. This was surreal. Trevor’s handsome face was dark as a storm cloud and he glared at Hal with defiance.

“Y-you wanted me to have an affair?” Dumbfounded, he couldn’t wrap his brain around the weirdness of what was happening. He’d been so happy before, looking forward to coming home and cuddling with Trevor on the couch, maybe making out–

That brought him right back to the present—and the present sucked ass in all the wrong ways.

“Your job’s had you so busy–” Trevor started.

“I thought you were happy for me and us when I made partner,” Hal cut him off.

Trevor sighed ruefully, fidgeting with the rose stem. “I was. I am.”

“But…?”

“You’re never around anymore.”

“And that guy was?”

“Neal is a…colleague. And I didn’t ask for that. He kissed me on his own.”

“You weren’t exactly struggling to break free.”

Trevor’s gaze shot up sharp and fierce and hurt and embarrassed and… All those emotions battling for dominance. Hal almost empathized. Almost. “Would you have preferred I kill him where he stood?”

“I doubt you would’ve stood up for much longer. Hope you were at least going to change the sheets afterward.” Hal spun around on his heels and headed for the fridge. He needed a drink, and wine just wouldn’t cut it today. Red wine with dinner, white wine with friends, beer on game nights – and whiskey for emergencies. This was absolutely a whiskey night. Digging out a glass from the cupboard and fishing out the whiskey bottle from the liquor cabinet, Hal poured a few fingers’ worth and drank it all down in one. He winced at the sudden burn and nearly coughed but held it back at the last second.

“You think drinking’s going make this any better, Hal?” Trevor had come to stand right behind Hal, and Hal could feel his eyes boring into the back of his head.

“This?” Hal poured himself another drink. The heat from the first had already reached his empty stomach, flushing him with warmth he’d hoped would have been the result of Trevor’s ardent kisses instead.

“How long have we been together?”

Hal shuddered as the chill of the impending implosion of his life drew imminent. “Six years. Seven in three months.” Over his shoulder Hal dared a glance at Trevor from under his brow, his too long brown strands falling over his eyes. “Will we get to celebrate that, Trev?”

For a moment there was an awkward, pressured, heavy silence hanging over and between them. It was the first time Hal had ever felt so unsure, afraid and sad with Trevor who lit up his life brighter than the sun in the sky.

Trevor locked eyes with Hal and held the gaze, fiery and cold at once, and Hal knew he was lost. “I don’t think I’ve ever–”

“Don’t bother. I get the message. Got it loud and clear. If you want to leave–”

“What I want is for you to stop talking for one goddamn minute, Hal! Can you do that for me?” Trevor’s hands had fisted and they shook at his sides vehemently. The blaze in his eyes was so different from the fire that sex with Hal could create that he had no retort to that kind of fury, so he merely nodded in a loaded silence that hollowed him out. Trevor sighed wearily and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, Hal. But things have got to change.”

“What things?” Hal’s curiosity itched and forced him to blurt the words out like a physical lump in his throat.

“You’re never here, Hal. This right here, today’s…gesture, was the first time in four months you’ve been home before ten p.m. And when you are home you’re too tired to be with me – in any sense of the word. You make promises you don’t keep. You tell me I’m coming home early tonight, I swear. Yeah, for a few days you do, and it’s great. But then you slip back into old habits, work like a fiend and come home late. A half an hour late. Then an hour late. Two, five, all night. Or what about your weekend absences when you said we’d go out or stay in or just spend time together, like we used to? Whenever I bring all this up you wave a dismissive hand at me and say it’ll get better once I’m partner. Only…it never did, and you are partner now. Just not mine, apparently. Jeez, Hal. I’m not asking for all of your precious time. Just…a little bit more than the quick peck on the cheek in the morning or evening when you crawl in and out of bed, hoping not to disturb me so I wouldn’t notice how late you come in or how early you leave.”

Hal frowned. Yes, he’d always been a bit of a workaholic and he had been clocking in some long hours since he’d been made partner in the law firm where he worked. But it had only been…four months? No, a coincidence, surely. And definitely not four whole months. Why just the other week– okay, maybe a bit longer than that in all honesty.

He shook his head furiously. “I refuse to be made the guilty party here when you were the one playing dentist with some guy half your age.”

Trevor closed the gap between them by the island counter with black marble tops Hal loved and placed his hand firmly over Hal’s hand grasping for the whiskey glass again. “Which upsets you more? That I was kissing Neal–” Hal scoffed. “–or that he was younger than you?”

“I had no idea you thought my meat wasn’t hot enough for you,” Hal growled and yanked his hand away, filling his glass once more. Yes, it was a crude way to put it, especially since Hal knew he wasn’t a young man…like Neal. But if Trevor didn’t find him physically attractive anymore didn’t that mean his emotions for Hal would inevitably change too? Would Trevor’s feelings wane a bit or fade away altogether?

Trevor growled, echoing Hal, and this time his grip hurt when it landed on Hal’s arm and forced it down to keep him from drowning his sorrows in a bottle. Still, Hal was pretty determined to try crawling inside all the way to the bottom because there, at least, it would be nice and warm.

“Your meat hasn’t been around long enough for me to ascertain that one way or the other in ages.”

“What do you want from me, Trev?” Hal shouted, unable to control the outburst. “You want me to quit my fucking job? Is that what you want? Because it’s fucking easy for you to talk like that when your job at the bank is a sweet nine to five deal, and you don’t have to–”

“I don’t have to what, Hal?” Trevor’s voice never rose when it was angry. It dropped low and dangerous, and if Hal hadn’t been so goddamn furious he would’ve felt the temperature in the room drop to an arctic level. “Don’t have to wine and dine rich, powerful clients without a care in the world because they can buy their way out of anything? Don’t have to travel to exotic destinations to lie on the sand under the sun and negotiate some legal technicality that’ll advance the law but regress justice back to the Stone Age?”

Hal’s cheeks reddened as he felt the heat wash over him. “I had no idea you thought that way about what I do. What I love to do.” Great. Now they were just dredging up reasons to keep the fight going and avoid the inevitable separation.

“I didn’t start a relationship with a man so ambitious he forgot that last weekend we were supposed to go up to the cottage in Maine like we’d discussed for the past two months.”

All the anger left Hal in a heartbeat. How had he forgotten that? Yeah, now it was coming back to him. He and Trevor had made plans to travel up north so they could spend some quality time together and celebrate– Oh, fuck.

“You remember now, don’t you?” Trevor could’ve sounded indignant. It would have been his right. But no, he sounded sad and disappointed.

How could Hal have let Trevor’s own promotion slip his mind? Manager of the Overseas Accounts, or something along those lines. He blushed because all of a sudden it hit him that presently he knew Trevor perfunctorily—and he’d let the specifics fade into obscurity as he’d lost track of who Trevor was today. This was a darkness of his own making. He didn’t even know his lover’s exact job title. Hal had been so busy lately with work, with the Douglas case, the Morales case, the Anderson case… On and on the merry-go-round spun.

Who was he when he wasn’t at work? He’d thought he was Trevor’s boyfriend and lover and companion. Why did he feel like a roommate now? His career had peaked – while his personal life had slipped down the drain. Trevor wasn’t alone because of anything he had done himself. Hal had pushed him into the arms of a willing man.

Desperation filled him to the brim and overflowed through his eyes. Tears fell down his cheeks in fits, his subtle sobs emerged in tiny bursts, and his knees buckled. Sliding down the side of the island counter, Hal ended up practically curled on the floor, his knees up to his chin, hugging himself because he doubted anyone would do so ever again.

Then Trevor was there, surrounding Hal with his arms, holding him close. Instead of comforting him, the tender gesture made Hal feel worse. In passing he wondered if that had been Trevor’s goal all along. But just as quickly he dismissed the notion. Trevor wasn’t a cruel or a malicious person. He could never intentionally hurt anyone, least of all someone he loved.

Did he still love Hal?

“I’m sorry, Trev. So sorry.”

Trevor caressed his cheek, smoothed his hair. “I know, babe. I know. I’m sorry too.”

Hal knew he’d come out sounding like a whining child. “Why did you do it? Why’d you have to kiss him? Are you going to leave me?”

“Of course I’m not going leave you, dummy. I love you.” Trevor had been hunkering but now he sat down on the parquet floor next to Hal and drew him closer until Hal was practically sitting on his lap. His breath, coffee and bagels from the French place a block over, fanned over his face, brushing his hair. “But things have got to change, Hal. Your job isn’t the only one that needs you.” Before Hal could utter a reply, to promise anything, Trevor added softly, “And I’m sorry I said those things about your job. You’re a great lawyer. Don’t ever doubt that. I know we don’t live in a perfect world but I know you do it to help people.”

Hal had to argue that point. “No, Trev. I do it to get ahead.”

At that Trevor suddenly chuckled, and Hal was bewildered by the amusement there. “No, you don’t. The long hours, the business meetings, hanging around unscrupulous people. Yeah, those things could make you forget why you got into this line of work. But I know you. And I know you love the law.”

“I love you, Trev. Always have.”

Trevor sighed contentedly. “I know, babe. But…I also know that in the past few years you’ve let time get the better of you. Remember when we were dating and you talked about starting your own law practice? You had a sparkle in your eye then, and I fell in love with you because of it. Lately…” His voice trailed off, and Hal shivered. His eyes felt dirty, like someone had poured sand in them, and the wet striations on his cheeks and neck tickled and itched. He wanted a shower—and he needed a change.

“D-do you want…that other guy more than me?” He heard the crack in his own voice but had no way of controlling it. Fear consumed him.

“Neal?” Trevor sneered in contempt. “No. I told you. He kissed me, not long before you came home. I didn’t stop him because I felt flattered and lonely. But even if you hadn’t come, Hal, I would’ve put an end to it soon enough. Neal’s got…appetites I don’t share. And you, you big lug, I do love you. Always will.”

Exhaling the painful breath he’d not realized he’d held, Hal felt liberated. Exhausted but free. That guy had meant nothing. The kiss had meant nothing. Hal was still Trevor’s guy. The sight of Neal kissing Trevor dimmed and vanished from Hal’s memory like a ghostly apparition. He wound his arms around Trevor’s waist and tightened his grip until Trevor hissed.

“I’ll resign tomorrow–”

“Jeez, Hal.” Trevor shook his head, and his chin rubbed against Hal’s scalp, his stubble making a frizzing sound. “Don’t do it for me. You had a dream once, Hal, and I know you miss it too. We’re both over forty, babe. Don’t you think it’s high time to grab onto our dreams and make them come true?”

Hal lifted his head from Trevor’s chest, where his woodsy cologne had filled his nostrils and his steady heartbeat had thumped in his ears. Trevor’s eyes glimmered dark and wet, undoubtedly like his own. “What do you dream about, Trev?”

Trevor’s perfect lips curved up into a smile. “Easy. You. Even when you’re here with me I dream about you.” How had he not seen this man before, sitting at his side ready, willing and able to give all his love to Hal and Hal alone? Hal sniffed, and then shuddered as Trevor’s laidback smile turned into a feral grin. “At the moment, though, I dream about you naked in the shower with me. You up for that, counselor?”

Hal chuckled. “Trev, I’m a defense attorney, not a–”

“Not a fastidious nitpick? Not a pedantic prick?”

“Asshole.” Hal laughed. And the sound rang strange in his ears, as though it was the first time he’d ever heard it. Or so long he’d forgotten what it sounded like.

Trevor leaned down and kissed him—and the outside world melted away. Nothing and no-one but Hal and Trevor existed. Soft lips, just like always. Only more insistent now, demanding, forceful. Trevor tested the seams of Hal’s lips with the tip of his tongue, asking for permission, urging reaction, eliciting a response.

Hunger obliterated Hal’s reason. Heat prickled through his skin from Trevor, permeating Hal through every pore until he burned with need. Parting his lips, Hal welcomed his lover’s tongue that swept in, zero to sixty in a blink of an eye. Trevor set out to conquer Hal’s lips with teasing nibbles and luscious licks, suckling and devouring Hal’s tongue like a vacuum. Their breaths mixed with each pant and gasp as they fought for oxygen in between starving kisses.

Hal’s fingers fumbled with the buttons of Trevor’s formal light blue dress shirt that he wore at the bank but in frustration he couldn’t wait anymore so he grabbed the shirt and tore it open. Buttons flew and rained on the floor with tiny clicks. Trevor laughed into the kiss, breathless, and Hal wasn’t certain if he wanted to deck the guy or fuck him through the floor.

Scrambling up on his feet, Hal dashed toward the hallway and the bathroom. “Tag. You’re it.”

“Cheater.” Trevor’s shout was faint with the growing distance but even now Hal could hear the underlying warmth and love there. They’d be all right. Yes, there’d be adjustments and compromises. But the one thing Hal would never let go of was Trevor.

By the time Trevor had reached him in the bathroom all of Hal’s clothes were already in a bundle on the floor. Opening the glass door to the big shower stall with its faux wooden walls, Hal glanced over his shoulder and let his gaze skim that masculine body undressing in a hurry before his eyes. Working indoors and not traveling to sunny climates, Trevor was fair-skinned and his strawberry blonde hair merely accentuated that fact. Those beautiful blue eyes shone with a light Hal realized he hadn’t seen in a while. That told him unequivocally that the sex they’d had lately had been a mechanical rutting routine.

Well, tonight would be different.

“Why did you bring me the rose tonight?” Trevor asked cramming himself into the shower stall. It could’ve accommodated two lean people with ease but two regular-sized men… It was a tight fit – which suited them fine.

Hal shrugged, ducking under the spray until he was wet all over. He felt Trevor’s big gentle hands massaging shampoo into his brown hair. The lather was rich with a minty scent that soon filled the steamy shower stall, enveloping the two of them in a warm, wet cocoon. After he’d rinsed Hal looked up at Trevor who was an inch and a half (two, if he told the story) taller than Hal. “I don’t know. I just wanted to make you happy, I guess. I work late and I…I miss you. I’ve been swamped lately, and for some reason I couldn’t wait to get home and see you.”

Trevor smiled happily. “That’s a start.” Giving Hal a quick sloppy kiss on the lips, he added, “I’ve missed you too, babe. I’ve missed your laugh and your brown puppy dog eyes and the way you always make feel like all the air’s gone out of the room.”

Hal’s chest puffed with pride and his heart swelled with love. Moving aside to give Trevor his turn under the warm spray, Hal worked his fingers into the shampoo and reciprocated the hair washing. It wasn’t a chore, it was an act of adoration, and when those baby blues stared down at him with laugh wrinkles at the corners as he grinned, Hal knew he’d trade anything to be able to keep this man loving him forever. It wasn’t like he was giving up a lustrous career. Ever since law school he’d dreamed of starting his own practice defending those who really needed help. But he’d gotten blinded by a lucrative job opportunity at a private law firm. It would be hard to change the course of his life now, to drop everything and start over at forty-three.

But not impossible.

Trevor was right. He’d lost his way. He’d allowed time to waltz on by while he climbed a corporate ladder going nowhere he actually wanted to end up.

And he’d almost lost Trevor along the way. In the light of this man’s love Hal knew he’d find his way out of this grey oblivion and start anew.

But that was tomorrow. Tonight there was no world outside these walls. The only two people in existence were Hal and Trevor.

While Trevor washed his shampoo out Hal lathered a loofah with a liquid soap that oozed the scents of eucalyptus, tea tree and lavender, and began to wash his lover all over. A thick coating of strawberry blonde fuzz covered Trevor’s barrel chest and a sprinkling of hair dusted his thighs as well. Hal had less hair on his own body, giving his tanned skin an exotic look, like that of a Native American, lither and leaner than Trevor but still beefy. He hit the gym more frequently than Trevor which was strange since Trevor spent more time out of the office. Hal hit the gym at his office when stressed or schmoozing clients, and he groomed himself regularly with precision and attention to detail (and still always managed to come out looking geeky). Trevor and Hal were still as strong and bulky as ever despite the fact that neither of them were young men anymore.

They had similar interests too, such as going out to restaurants to eat, taking long walks in the park hand in hand, loving the idea but not the practicalities of a pet dog. Trevor had intellectual pursuits, Hal knew, and he went to every book launch, art exhibit and foreign film festival that came up. Hal went with him even though he preferred cocktail parties, nights in hot tubs and his movies without subtitles and with popcorn. Still, they had more in common than not.

They fit together perfectly as far as Hal was concerned.

Just then Hal had his epiphany. The job as a lawyer wasn’t his goal and even the private practice wasn’t his dream. Trevor was.

“I love how hairy you are”, he murmured in appreciation as he let the loofah wander all over Trevor who wasn’t a bear but still hairier than Hal. His fingers did more perusing than the loofah did washing.

“I love how smooth you are.” Trevor’s big hands moved across his body with a feather-light touch that drove Hal insane when he could feel even the water droplets on his skin more acutely than Trevor’s taunting touch.

“Fucking tease.”

“Language, counselor.”

Suddenly Trevor’s arms wrapped around Hal tight and he crushed his mouth against Hal. They kissed so hard and deep that Hal felt bruised and tasted blood as their teeth clashed on lips. But he didn’t want to stop. He wanted Trevor’s taste – be it sweat, blood, tears or come – to fill his senses and body until he’d be flying high into orbit, mindless and boneless.

Trevor pushed Hal back against the wall, pressing the entire length of his body flush against Hal’s. Hal’s cock came up so fast he saw white spots in his field of vision and the jerky pumping motion shot sweet painful shock waves through his system. Trevor was hard too, and their cocks rubbed against each other in delicious friction of that familiar soft hardness Hal loved. Over the earthy scents of the soap rose the smell of male musk and precome. Hal felt on his most sensitive skin that he was leaking steadily and assumed Trevor was too but the water cascading over them made it hard to tell.

“We haven’t done this in a long time,” Trevor mumbled into Hal’s mouth, sucking on his lower lip, tugging and nipping until Hal quivered all over, chills and hot flashes mixing inside his body and outside on his skin into a curious combination of sensations.

“Far too long, honey,” Hal confirmed in a hungry huff.

Both Trevor’s free hand and the one holding the loofah traveled all over Hal, but this wasn’t getting cleaned up. This was pure sex. Well, foreplay anyway. Hal shivered as the need to feel his partner filling him up turned his brain to mush and his groin into a lake of lava.

“You gonna fuck me, Trev?”

“You want to?”

“Yeah. More than anything, honey.”

“Turn around, babe.”

Hal flushed. His blood felt like it was at least five degrees higher than it should be for safety, melting his insides into a puddle of lust. Without the slightest resistance or reluctance, Hal turned around and laid his palms against the wall, slipping a bit when Trevor wound an arm around his waist and pressed him flat against him, back to chest.

It had been a long time when he’d fucked either standing up or in the shower but he wanted Trevor to remind him of all the reasons why they’d agreed to date, to be exclusive, to discard condoms, to move together and to build a life together in the bustling city of New York. Hal wanted that old flame to rekindle and burn him to cinders.

But deep down inside he hoped that this connection between him and Trevor would be different from now on. Not tenuous, but stretched to the limit. They’d walked the edge of the precipice of dead end relationships and almost fallen into the abyss. Hal never wanted to get that close to losing what mattered to him the most again.

“Stop that head of yours. Just relax and enjoy.”

Trevor’s mildly scolding tone belied the heavy breathing and urgent hands pushing Hal’s ass cheeks apart. They always kept a bottle of lubricant handy in the shower rack, so it was easy for Trevor to rub lavender scented lube down Hal’s crack. Trevor worked his big blunt fingers in Hal’s puckered hole, stretching him with that intimate burning sensation he had desired since the first time his ass had been played with and pierced by a man’s cock.

A thumb now, popping past the snug ring of muscle, rubbing gently and then harder until sweet frissons of pleasure ran up and down his spine. “God, Trev. More.”

“Shh, babe. I’ve got you.”

Two thumbs slid into him, opening Hal’s inner channel with a thorough probing like no other man could. Physically could, yes, but Trevor parted the gate into his soul too.

“I want you, Trev. I need you. Don’t ever leave me.” Pleading sounded alien to him but he couldn’t take the words back. They were true anyway.

Trevor kissed between his shoulder blades, an open-mouthed kiss with tongue and lips working in unison to drive Hal crazy. “You’re not going anywhere, babe. I’m keeping you.”

Keep me forever. Hal shivered, and with a quick glance over his shoulder begged for Trevor to stop playing and get to the good stuff. To emphasize his point he wiggled his hips, those fingers in him twisting.

“Eager slut.” Trevor chuckled against the nape of Hal’s neck, sucking up a mark.

“You know it. Come on, Trev. I’m dying here.” Hal’s thighs shook and his arms trembled with the strain of too many emotions and sensations within and without.

Thumbs left him and Hal felt empty. But the silky, blunt tip of Trevor’s cock nudged at his opening. Unable to contain his need, Hal pushed his hips back in a wanton motion, and Trevor’s fat cock popped through, widening his hole and channel almost to the breaking point. His hollow passage filled to the brim, Hal quaked with the mix of wanting more and needing a moment to adjust. He knew Trevor would grant him all the time he needed but right now Hal wanted a bit of pain with his delight.

He shook his head at the unspoken question for more time, and Trevor inched his way inside Hal with more force than usual. Trevor didn’t stop until he was seated inside Hal to the hilt, his groin bumping against Hal’s buttocks. How peculiar was the curious mix of familiarity and newness Hal was experiencing, as though Trevor had always been right there inside him – and never before so deep, so profoundly.

“Hold on, babe,” Trevor panted in his ear, pulling out almost entirely before pushing all the way in hard, rough and deep, as if he knew this was how Hal wanted it now.

“God, so good,” Hal grunted with the exertion as Trevor picked up the pace, driving his cock in so deep Hal imagined Trevor might come out of his throat. “Yeah, just like that. Right there. Fuck, right there.”

Trevor’s dick hit Hal’s gland with every thrust until Hal was out of his mind with lust and crying out. The warm water began to feel cool on his skin as his body heated with sex. His dick stood up straight like a torpedo waiting to launch and he was sure he’d come with just the brush of fingers. Trevor’s hands gripped his hips hard, fingers digging into the flesh, bruising, taking. Hal would’ve given anything to never have to stop.

“You close, babe?” Trevor’s voice came through muffled and Hal understood how urgent the need to come was. Trevor pounded into him so roughly that Hal almost couldn’t get a word out as confirmation. All he could do was nod emphatically, like a jack-in-the-box wound up too tight.

Trevor’s hand snaked down to fist Hal’s cock, and that really was too much. With a sharp yelp Hal climaxed, spurting come all over the shower stall wall. And how odd it was that no matter how hard he came he just kept on spouting, as though there were reserves of come hiding in his balls he’d never know and now he’d tapped into them. Jerking involuntarily at the sheer power of his release, Hal worried he might’ve lost some spinal fluid in there somewhere too.

“God, Hal.” Trevor shuddered as his hand and his hips kept working.

Hal’s inner muscles clamped down on Trevor’s cock. Slamming hard a few more times, Trevor suddenly stilled. He held his breath, like he always did when he was coming. Hot jets of come filled Hal with life in a way he knew no other experience could ever hope to achieve. Milking his lover dry, he squeezed and released his ass over and over again until Trevor had nothing more to give. His hand stilled on Hal’s depleted dick that was feeling too sensitive to stand a single touch again. Yes, he had a strong suspicion they’d do this again in bed before dawn but for now Hal was sated.

Trevor slumped against Hal’s back, panting, his arms around Hal. “God, Hal. Wow. That was…” His breathless voice faded.

“Yeah.” Hal had to agree. That had been one for the books. He was beginning to feel every one of his forty-three years. His legs trembled, about to give at any moment. “God, I need to sit.”

“Yeah. Let’s take this to bed, babe.” Trevor moved off but not far, rinsing them both with the spray from the shower nozzle until they were come-free. Trevor turned off the shower, got their towels from the hooks and began to dry Hal. Hal felt the silly grin plastered all over his face as his heart melted some more under his lover’s tender ministrations. Trevor winked. “Glad you approve.”

Making a quick show of it, they dried off, put on their underwear and slid into the cool Egyptian cotton sheets of their king-sized bed. Trevor snuggled up close, spooning Hal from behind until all that warm, sweet-scented solidity did Hal in. His eyes began to droop.

Hal had to say it, though, before sleep would overtake him completely. “Trev? I want you to know that I will do whatever it takes to be with you.” Trevor made a soft conciliatory sound and, even though his eyelids closed of their own volition, Hal pressed on, his words slurred a bit. “I mean the sex just now… That was great. Awesome, to be honest. But I don’t want you to think that I used sex to shut you up or so I wouldn’t have to listen to you. Because I did hear you. Loud and clear, I swear.” Trevor tightened his grip, and Hal felt a wave of relief wash over him. Sighing with quiet contentment, he asked, “Are we good?”

Trevor kissed the nape of his neck, just below the brown hairline. “Yes, Hal. We are. I know you, babe. When you make up your mind to do something, everyone should just steer clear and move out of your way for their own safety. If you say you’re going to change, I believe you. I haven’t always trusted every one of your promises. But I do have faith in you and that this time you’ll keep your word.”

“I will, Trev. Cross my heart and hope to die.” With effort and huffing Hal turned to his other side to face Trevor and his bright blue eyes. “I love you. For all time.”

Trevor smiled and kissed him. “I know, goofball. I love you too. And everything will be all right.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Hal closed his eyes and nuzzled Trevor’s neck, breathing in his masculine scent. He allowed his mind to drift into the night. He knew he’d dream of Trevor who was his lover, partner and companion. They had stood the test of time, and they had done so side by side.

** The end **

 

Copyright © 2012. Susan Laine. All Rights Reserved.